Actually, wat is the meaning of friends? Jz now, I recalled about one beautiful night in 2006. That night was our chinese club bbq day and we had it in one of our friends, raymond's house. That time, we really had great fun, and i still can remember the atmosphere that time. Huong hong n joo seng were busy preparing the chicken wings, while all others, Koh hieng, chun fatt, raymong loh, david, lawrence, jacky n others are busy eating. Vin, marconic, eddie n I were at another corner that time, talking about a new japanese song. Indeed, i really enjoy listening to those japanese songs, although, i dont really understand what does the lyrics all mean. watsoever. After all has done, we went into raymond's house and had our dinner together. And, surprisingly, that day was the last day of the cultural festival at sibu. So, we got somesort like a closing ceremony that night, since that festival is really a huge one in sibu. And then, Huong hong fetched me, and kna n nyj went together with us too. We enjoy watching the firecrakers till the very end of it n by the time when we were back, it was around 1 am already.
But sadly, that was ages ago, although those images are still so clear in my mind. And after spm, raymond ngu flew to uk straight away, without saying goodbye to all of us, n then the next one was gabriel, my useless dog. Always want to quarrel with me, even over some very small topics. He flew to australia, n now is doing pharmacy at perth. Next one would be Koh hieng who went to nz. Followed by chun fatt n others who went to kl straight away, didnt ever bother to wait for the result to come out. All are rich guys, i can say nothing about them. watever. I was fooling around with vin that time, learning eng n guitar, skipping all my early form 6 class. Now, when i think back, when i went back to school that time, even madam dia n tan, my chem n maths teacher, made fun with me, saying that i am too pro and sure can get a scholarships to get the hell out of there, so dont ever bother to come along for the early form 6 class? Haha. I was laughing all the way that time. I answered, that isnt really the reason, i got something else to settle now and by the way, during the early form 6 class, they dont really have their class properly, many teachers arent really teaching that time. So, instead of wasting my time like this, wat about spending my time to improve my eng n learning guitar at the same time then? After that, they said, ur choice, up to u. ok then.
Where was I? oh, ya. Almost all my friends went out to kl that time, leaving behind all those poor ppl. Some are fooling around in form 6 while some are working to earn money, n only got a small group of ppl who were like me, did nearly nothing that time. But, we still in contact with each other and whenever we were free, we jz called each other out n went limteh together. That time, i thought that it would last like this for a while. And then, my fate came n i came over to france. Really dunno y am i end up here n yet, many girls keep repeating the same sentence to me, u should feel lucky, because u are in france now, can jz go over to paris n visit effiel tower, so romantic.....what the hell? that useless, valueless steel is really that special in girls' hearts? sry, but i cant figure it out. I kept observing that tower when i was at paris last time n yet, cant find anything special about it. Jz want to say, sry girls, i dont care whether it is real romantic or not, but wat do care is to finish all my business here n then head to japan straight away.
Oh, ya. We were talking about my friends who went out to semananjung or other places. And then, i flew over to france. During the early period, one day, my senior, from the same secondary school as mine, who chose the same programme as me too, came over to pay me a visit. I was busy chatting with my friends that time using msn. He saw it n said out one thing that i cant forget till now. Better enjoy chatting now, because after a while, u wont be able to hv such an occasion already. After hearing that, that time, i really felt like want to punch him in his face straight away. He thought that my friends were jz like his? All has jz disappeared into the atmosphere after going to overseas? Damn shit, dont u ever dare to take my friends the same as urs. But, time really can prove everything, cant it? Now, only after nearly 2 yrs time, the only old friends who are still in contact with me are kna, nyj, david n elias. For kna, our relationships is almost the same like last time, whenever i got something, sure he is the first one i talk to. nyj is still like that, but now seldom talk with him already, because he is a real busy man now, ever since he got gf. For dav, sometimes he will jz drop by to give some comments on facebook n elias, i call him whenever i am free but not that always, since he is busy with his stpm n other things, a real business man after all.
Ya, now only i notice that i had became like my senior. I dunno whether they are really busy doing their things, assignments or studying or jz dont ever bother to leave a msg to say hii whenever they are free. All of us jz become strangers back like the time be4 we met. I got 100+ contacts in my msn list n usually every night got 20+ friends online. 5 of them are strangers to me, dunno where the hell did they got my e mail n added me like i knew them be4. 5 of them are busy ppl, always put away as their status n they really are 'away' all the time, damn busy till no time left for them to shit. 5 of them are my old friends, but everytime when i want to open the conversation with them, i am stuck there, dunno wth should i talk about with them. say hii? how are u today? where are u now? bla..bla....all are useless things. N sarcastically, the other 5 are my new friends in malaysia that i made after i came over to france n yet, we chat a lot more than any of my old friends, jz dunno y. Very strange, is it? In facebook, some old friends, like gabriel, dav, jacky, n vin will jz come to drop some comments when i posted something interesting or funny about them. N surprisingly, those ppl who had dropped almost all of the comments are my new friends too. So, wat is the meaning of friendships forever then? all is jz a piece of shit? Haha. Some friends told me that their uni life is really busy, but how come my uni life in france is some sort like damn free? i can ever say that i got more free time than last time when i was in from 4 or 5, maybe because i dont need to study history now, or maybe i dont join any cocuriculum activities at all in my school now. Haiz, this world is very cruel, everyone jz has to move on, to achieve his goal, while leaving all ohters behind. But y the hell i jz cant do like that? So stubborn for wat then?
Or, maybe the other reason is that, i am too pro, so many friends jz want to stick around with me, in order to seek for help whenever they have that kind of need? Give a damn about it! That kind of friends are useless, good for nothings. Damn it, seem like pro ppl jz cant have a normal life like other ppl do, ever for their friends? Damn u. So, that is y i dont really like ppl make friends with me, only after they find out i was a top student in my school last time. That kind of ppl, useless one, jz get the hell out of my way. watever, maybe after all, it is my destiny that i mean to be a true loner...btw, a true hero doesnt need any girls n friends beside him....haha....
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
The true meaning of friends....
Now, I would better change it back to english, or else i cant really taip it out without making any mistakes, i mean taiping mistakes. I still prefer writting using my pen than taiping it using a keyboard when i hv to write on french. But now, dont really hv that kind of need.
Ya, so the best friends that i mentionned here are still the same one, one is kna and another one is my senior, a girl who is studying in perth now. And, yes, i told them the problem that i am facing jz now and they really did a nice job as my friends since i am really noob in that kind of matter. If u ask me to study, then fine, there should be not problem for me but this matter is jz like, more than simply philosophy for me, but maybe for some of u, it is jz like a piece a cake. So, i poured all my problems n feelings to them n they advised me to calm myself down n see n watch how things change since we cant really trust internet things nowadays. So, jz need to wait until i get back to my hometown n decide wat to do next. Luckily, by the time when i am back , one of my adviser, kna is still fooling around in sibu, so it will rather easy for me to find him n seek for some advices.
Few days before, i was damn irrational although i thought that i was very ratioanl that time. I nearly said the truth out n ruined all the situation. Luckily i also got my ps3 standby in my house for me to release all my stress. I played devil may cry 4 and killed all the demons in the bloody palaces jz to calm down myself. I took me nearly three hours to finish it but, in the end, i was so satisfied with myself. And then, i went for mission 10 in son of sparda mode to fight against dante jz in order to hear his saying that time, "kid, u cooled off yet?" Ya, i answered, pretty cool now n thx to my fellow friends once again. But, when i think over it again, sometime, u really can jz call me coward, since a easy problem like this jz can be handled by saying out one simple n short sentence n yet i amnt able to do it. And, yes, i admit it, when dealing with such things, i am a truly coward, the only thing that i know is avoiding n acting like dont care in order to act cool, maybe? But it always ended up badly, at least till now.
The only thing that i cant understand now is that this penselbox, is it really my density or jz another joke from God? And yes, maybe i will need to pretend cool again to find it out n by that time, maybe, everything will be too late alrdy. Maybe i was born to be merely a loner after all....
Ya, so the best friends that i mentionned here are still the same one, one is kna and another one is my senior, a girl who is studying in perth now. And, yes, i told them the problem that i am facing jz now and they really did a nice job as my friends since i am really noob in that kind of matter. If u ask me to study, then fine, there should be not problem for me but this matter is jz like, more than simply philosophy for me, but maybe for some of u, it is jz like a piece a cake. So, i poured all my problems n feelings to them n they advised me to calm myself down n see n watch how things change since we cant really trust internet things nowadays. So, jz need to wait until i get back to my hometown n decide wat to do next. Luckily, by the time when i am back , one of my adviser, kna is still fooling around in sibu, so it will rather easy for me to find him n seek for some advices.
Few days before, i was damn irrational although i thought that i was very ratioanl that time. I nearly said the truth out n ruined all the situation. Luckily i also got my ps3 standby in my house for me to release all my stress. I played devil may cry 4 and killed all the demons in the bloody palaces jz to calm down myself. I took me nearly three hours to finish it but, in the end, i was so satisfied with myself. And then, i went for mission 10 in son of sparda mode to fight against dante jz in order to hear his saying that time, "kid, u cooled off yet?" Ya, i answered, pretty cool now n thx to my fellow friends once again. But, when i think over it again, sometime, u really can jz call me coward, since a easy problem like this jz can be handled by saying out one simple n short sentence n yet i amnt able to do it. And, yes, i admit it, when dealing with such things, i am a truly coward, the only thing that i know is avoiding n acting like dont care in order to act cool, maybe? But it always ended up badly, at least till now.
The only thing that i cant understand now is that this penselbox, is it really my density or jz another joke from God? And yes, maybe i will need to pretend cool again to find it out n by that time, maybe, everything will be too late alrdy. Maybe i was born to be merely a loner after all....
Sunday, March 7, 2010
la trousse
Ca fait lengtemps que j'ai pas ecrit et cette fois ci, j'ai decide de l'ecrire tout en francais, car je ne veux pas que mes amis le comprennent. C'est plus difficile, mais bon, c'est personel et j'ai pas d'autre choix.
J'ai choisi la trousse comme titre car c'est a cause de cela que j'ai commence a avoir un sentiment pour elle. Ban, je vais tout vous citer car personne ne va le comprendre. L'annee derniere quand je suis rentre chez moi, j'ai achete une nouvelle trousse car l'ancienne etait trop abime et j'ai decide de la changer il y avait lengtemps. Donc, je suis alle dans un magasin et j'ai demande au vendeur de me montrer quelques modeles de tout ca. Il y en avait beaucoup, mais, personnellement, j'aime pas trop beaucoup parmi elles car leurs couleurs ne me conviennent pas. Tout d'un coup, j'ai vu une trousse noire et c'est la seule qui me convient car j'aime bien les couleurs foncees. Donc, je l'ai achetee, pas trop pensee et ca faisait deja presque d'un an maintenant.
Et pour cette fille, elle a cree un quiz sur facebook pas si lengtemps que ca et je l'ai pris. Dans ce quiz, il y a avait une question demandant qu'elle aime bien quel animal et comment je pouvais le savoir, car je l'ai connue pas si longtemps que ca non plus. Ban, j'ai devine et ce qui me surprend c'est que j'ai eu bon pour cette question. J'ai choisi dauphin, et bon, elle l'aime bien? Ban, c'est pas tres bizzare, non? on est bien d'accord.
On est des amis et on reste en contact jusqu'a maintenant. Et, il y avait 2 semaines ou un peu plus que j'ai mon examen de maths. Les maths sont toujours le subjet que j'aime bien et tres souvent, il n' y a aucun problem pour moi pour bien repondre qux questions. J'ai bien dit souvent, mais pas cette fois ci. Ce jour la, le subjet etait trop difficile, meme pour moi. Je me suis gratte la tete et le stress s'ajoutait. je me suis dit, c'est pas possible, qui peut touver la solution pour des problems si difficile et je croyait que meme les prof n'arrivent pas si ils n'ont pas le cours ou l'indications. Pendant l'examen, on a seulement le droit de notre trousse, meme pas pour notre calculatrice. Tout d'un coup , je me suis apercu que il y a un logo dauphin sur ma trousse et je me suis dit a nouveau, c'est pas possible !!! Les images d'elle sont entrees dans ma tete, comme elle me disait de ne pas me decourager, il fallait toujour avoir l'espoir. Mais, c'est pas possible, non? Pourquoi c'etait pendant que j'avais un grand problem que je me suis apercu qu'il y a ce logo sur ma trousse, pourqoui pas avant ou apres l'examen? Apres avoir pense pour quelques instants, soudain, mes idees sont revenues et ce qui me surprend, c'est que j'ai eu un resultat pas mal pour ce examen.
Apres ce examen, pendant le dejuene, j'ai beaucoup pense a ce problem ridicule, est-ce que c'est mon destine ou bien une plaisanterie ridicule? j'ai pas trouve la response, meme jusqu'a aujour'hui. Et depuis ce jour la, je me sens que j'ai un sentinent plus qu'un ami normal pour elle. Mais, le problem, c'est que je suis ici, en france et elle est en malaisie, c'est presque la moitie du monde, tu sais? est-ce que une relation comme ca aura une belle fin? moi, je pense pas. Meme si cela aura un resultat positif, je vais pas lui dire que je l'aime non plus, car je dois encore rester en france pendant quelque annees et je veux pas la voir pleurer car je lui manque. Mais, si j'ai encore le choix de choisir poursuivre mes etudes en france ou chez moi, je vais choisir de rester chez moi. Cependant, on a seulement une seule chance. J'ai admis que je l'adore car la facon dont elle me parle et rigole avec moi, c'est comme on etait des meilleurs amis depuis longtemps. Et il y a pas trop de filles qui peuvent continuer un subjet avec moi normallement, car elle pensent toujours que je suis tres brillant et la seule chose que je sais, c'est etudier et travailler mais, en realite, j'aime pas trop quand quelqu'un m'appelle un etudiant brillant ou quelques choses comme ca. Ce que je vuex, c'est d'etre un etre humain normal et elle me donne ce sentiment quand elle me parle. En plus, elle me donne aussi un sentiment de la proteger contre tous les dangers.
J'ai tout raconte aux 2 amis et il m'ont conseille de rester contacter avec elle et voir comment evoluer des choses. Ban, je sais pas trop et je suis nul dans des truc concernant mon sentiment. On verra bien, mais j'ai pas trop espoir non plus sur elle car elle pense toujours que je suis tres fort et elle n'est pas assez forte pour moi. Quelle excuse? Pouquoi les filles disent toujours comme ca? est-ce que un gracon brillant n'a pas le droit d'aimer une fille nulle? Damn it...C'est tout ce que je veux dire maintenant et je vais vous dire des choses si jamais il y a des devellopements..
J'ai choisi la trousse comme titre car c'est a cause de cela que j'ai commence a avoir un sentiment pour elle. Ban, je vais tout vous citer car personne ne va le comprendre. L'annee derniere quand je suis rentre chez moi, j'ai achete une nouvelle trousse car l'ancienne etait trop abime et j'ai decide de la changer il y avait lengtemps. Donc, je suis alle dans un magasin et j'ai demande au vendeur de me montrer quelques modeles de tout ca. Il y en avait beaucoup, mais, personnellement, j'aime pas trop beaucoup parmi elles car leurs couleurs ne me conviennent pas. Tout d'un coup, j'ai vu une trousse noire et c'est la seule qui me convient car j'aime bien les couleurs foncees. Donc, je l'ai achetee, pas trop pensee et ca faisait deja presque d'un an maintenant.
Et pour cette fille, elle a cree un quiz sur facebook pas si lengtemps que ca et je l'ai pris. Dans ce quiz, il y a avait une question demandant qu'elle aime bien quel animal et comment je pouvais le savoir, car je l'ai connue pas si longtemps que ca non plus. Ban, j'ai devine et ce qui me surprend c'est que j'ai eu bon pour cette question. J'ai choisi dauphin, et bon, elle l'aime bien? Ban, c'est pas tres bizzare, non? on est bien d'accord.
On est des amis et on reste en contact jusqu'a maintenant. Et, il y avait 2 semaines ou un peu plus que j'ai mon examen de maths. Les maths sont toujours le subjet que j'aime bien et tres souvent, il n' y a aucun problem pour moi pour bien repondre qux questions. J'ai bien dit souvent, mais pas cette fois ci. Ce jour la, le subjet etait trop difficile, meme pour moi. Je me suis gratte la tete et le stress s'ajoutait. je me suis dit, c'est pas possible, qui peut touver la solution pour des problems si difficile et je croyait que meme les prof n'arrivent pas si ils n'ont pas le cours ou l'indications. Pendant l'examen, on a seulement le droit de notre trousse, meme pas pour notre calculatrice. Tout d'un coup , je me suis apercu que il y a un logo dauphin sur ma trousse et je me suis dit a nouveau, c'est pas possible !!! Les images d'elle sont entrees dans ma tete, comme elle me disait de ne pas me decourager, il fallait toujour avoir l'espoir. Mais, c'est pas possible, non? Pourquoi c'etait pendant que j'avais un grand problem que je me suis apercu qu'il y a ce logo sur ma trousse, pourqoui pas avant ou apres l'examen? Apres avoir pense pour quelques instants, soudain, mes idees sont revenues et ce qui me surprend, c'est que j'ai eu un resultat pas mal pour ce examen.
Apres ce examen, pendant le dejuene, j'ai beaucoup pense a ce problem ridicule, est-ce que c'est mon destine ou bien une plaisanterie ridicule? j'ai pas trouve la response, meme jusqu'a aujour'hui. Et depuis ce jour la, je me sens que j'ai un sentinent plus qu'un ami normal pour elle. Mais, le problem, c'est que je suis ici, en france et elle est en malaisie, c'est presque la moitie du monde, tu sais? est-ce que une relation comme ca aura une belle fin? moi, je pense pas. Meme si cela aura un resultat positif, je vais pas lui dire que je l'aime non plus, car je dois encore rester en france pendant quelque annees et je veux pas la voir pleurer car je lui manque. Mais, si j'ai encore le choix de choisir poursuivre mes etudes en france ou chez moi, je vais choisir de rester chez moi. Cependant, on a seulement une seule chance. J'ai admis que je l'adore car la facon dont elle me parle et rigole avec moi, c'est comme on etait des meilleurs amis depuis longtemps. Et il y a pas trop de filles qui peuvent continuer un subjet avec moi normallement, car elle pensent toujours que je suis tres brillant et la seule chose que je sais, c'est etudier et travailler mais, en realite, j'aime pas trop quand quelqu'un m'appelle un etudiant brillant ou quelques choses comme ca. Ce que je vuex, c'est d'etre un etre humain normal et elle me donne ce sentiment quand elle me parle. En plus, elle me donne aussi un sentiment de la proteger contre tous les dangers.
J'ai tout raconte aux 2 amis et il m'ont conseille de rester contacter avec elle et voir comment evoluer des choses. Ban, je sais pas trop et je suis nul dans des truc concernant mon sentiment. On verra bien, mais j'ai pas trop espoir non plus sur elle car elle pense toujours que je suis tres fort et elle n'est pas assez forte pour moi. Quelle excuse? Pouquoi les filles disent toujours comme ca? est-ce que un gracon brillant n'a pas le droit d'aimer une fille nulle? Damn it...C'est tout ce que je veux dire maintenant et je vais vous dire des choses si jamais il y a des devellopements..
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